The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
