thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
