yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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