highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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