this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
