now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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