we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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