you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
