I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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