Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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