Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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