if i can run in heels then i can drive
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it because I queefed?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
