you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
