you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
