What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
