WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
