dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
