He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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