I heard we made out
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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