paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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