This is the prime rib incident all over again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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