Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And then he peed in my hair
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
