New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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