It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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