Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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