And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
