Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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