Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
