I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
