Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
