how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
