they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
