You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
