Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.