Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?