I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
