Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love