So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
