god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize