you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
