Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize