I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
