We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
