dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
