Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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