I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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