3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
