Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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