Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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