Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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