We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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