why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
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Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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