I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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