Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
