i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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