I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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