if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
