508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize