Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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