I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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