HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I supernannyed him into submission
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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