I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
