I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
